| Hilarity at the D.N.C. The DNC (Democratic National Convention) is underway and Monday was when Joe Biden was supposed to tell us why he quit the race. They pushed him off over and over until 11:30 EDT when he came out super late and appeared as the fabulous “Jacked Up Joe” and yelled for about 53 minutes his standard stump speech that we've all heard a hundred times. It was the “best of Joe Biden” speech which included the anti-Trump tropes including the “fine people” hoax, the “suckers and losers” hoax, “the bloodbath” hoax and other classics. All shouted. The speech included the “Joey” tales from “Dad,” the dignity comments, the “we are the United States of America, there is nothing we cannot do” ending, etc. This was all peppered with the usual and often misplaced, “not hyperbole,” “not a joke,” “think about it,” and “I'm serious.” When referring to the Harris-Walz ticket he used the diminutive “Kamala and Tim” moniker making them sound like two grammar school kids whose names were carved inside of a heart on a nearby oak. With the theme of the new campaign being “joy” and “good vibes” this screaming maniac negated both. Luckily it was long after prime-time. Biden then exited stage left with an entourage. Everyone was told that would be the end of him. He'd be immediately flying off to California on another vacation to waste taxpayers money to assuage an irked Frau Doktor Jill Biden who enjoyed flying around in a private 747. Their first stop, as the convention rambles on sans Joey, would be a tour of the Napa Valley wine country. They will be stocking up the Delaware cellar on your dime with Opus One and various Private Reserve cabs. Joe should calm down in the meantime after a good nights sleep in the '47. From what anyone can tell, he is officially checked out and Anthony Blinken and the State Department are running the country. On tomorrow's show you will hear a discussion on exactly why they will not pull the plug on Biden and will let him finish his term | 
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