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Sunday, September 28, 2014

No Agenda-Saturday Newsletter

Dear Producer,
As we hope to break the cycle of low donations Adam has been smeared by a Dutch gossip rag which claims he and Micky are separated and the marriage is falling apart. This was because Micky was touring  and happened to go to Holland to visit some friends without Adam, who has a show to do.

But this wasn’t the smear, that story was just planted gossip sheet bullcrap. It was thePhotoshopped pic of Adam to make him look goofy that was the smear. I was personally amused by this because here you have Micky looking stunning standing next to what appears to be a homely goofball rather than a guy with leading man good looks. The cover is reproduced below.

 

OK, you could do this too. This is one of the simplest Photoshop fixes you can manage. It’s the liquefy tool and, as you can see what I did with Biden below, you can make anyone look stupid. The Biden pic is a total of six liquefy strokes that took less than 60 seconds.

The mouth is brought in one each side (2 strokes). The lower lip dropped which brings down the teeth to give a buck-toothed appearance (1). Each eye area is brought towards the bridge of the nose (2). Caved in the side of his head a little (1). Six total strokes, a couple of tweaks, sixty-seconds, done.

 

Just using one tool


Un-retouched (at least not by me)

 
This tool developed from a software packaged called Goo from some years back that was designed to help people make goofy looking pictures. If I wanted to spend 10-20 minutes on Biden I could do a range of things using both liquefy and some other tools.
 

This is today’s world where you cannot trust your own eyes when it comes to both the still and the moving image. Woody Allen's Zelig (1983) toyed with modern manipulation of imagery. But Forrest Gump (1994) is credited as a seminal movie regarding creating bogus realities. Watch it again and assume everything going on in the background is bullcrap. These techniques became the star of the film Wag the Dog (1997). 17 years have passed since Wag the Dog. The techniques have made it so you cannot believe anything you see anymore.
 

What’s shocking is that the cheesiest green screen trickery and piss-poor manipulation techniques still fool a gullible public that cannot identify simple fakery like the orange and black “be-headings” or Adam’s goofball picture on a gossip rag.
 

The false reality comes at you from all angles, visual, aural, and informational. Lies are lies but they take many forms. Please consider yourself lucky because your No Agenda Showdiscovers the reality behind the lies by carefully deconstructing news in ways that always reveal and expose the manipulations. And as you have learned, it is everywhere!

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Your co-host,
John C. Dvorak

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